Inca Tern, a species of bird that lives in the...
stillwatersofconsciousness: radish is a really accurate name for a vegetable because they’re pretty cool but they’re not that cool
deanprincesster: what if the pope resigned because he’s pregnant with the new jesus and mtv makes a show about it called sistine and pregnant
satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
wearesorryfortheinconvenience: moffats-army: wearesorryfortheinconvenience: today i said to my friend “i haven’t had a go-gurt in a really long time” AND HE LOOKED REALLY LOST?? AND I EXPLAINED TO HIM WHAT A GO-GURT WAS AND HE SAID “OH IN CANADA WE CALL THOSE TUBES” TUBE S BUT ITS YOGURT ON THE GO CANADA IM SO S ICK OF UR SHIT #sorry if we dont want our yogurt sounding like a std ah,...
doodoomar: lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake
danieldempsey: My dude straight loving him some nsync.
eriihime: Why can’t I be as cute as an anime character :’c
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation...– John F. Kennedy (via calhounery)
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
diverged: I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months
thewonderyearstrong: do you ever just realise that one of your friends male or female is like, really hot? but not in a ‘damn i’d tap that’ kinda way but in a ‘i made friends with someone who’s really attractive, nice’
When your friends come to you for advice:
sodamnrelatable: “good… good, you’ve come to the right place.”
rnilkbreath: rnilkbreath: rnilkbreath: rnilkbreath: i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u meaners told who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’ WHO CHANGED IT FROM FUCKERS TO FUDGERS I WILL KILL THE POPSICLE DONT TESTICLE ME
googlehomie: ahh school… *inhales deeply* the sweet smell of a flawed education system and high stress levels
best-of-funny: silentlydrawn: leepaced: if you didnt ship the queen and joe as a child you need to rethink your life choices #otp: you’ve been wearing black too long Joe could get it and all of Genovia son X
Why are people embarrassed when their stomach...
I mean, people usually feel bad for the hungry kid… I use that opportunity to ask for food.